phases in shades of pink...

Life is complicated. It not only comes in various colors but in various shades of each color. Black and white appear at opposite extremes of the spectrum and in between are all the different shades of colors. Thus, hot pink would be funky, lively and energetic while a rose white would symbolize a more serene, peaceful and pure environment. My life therefore, is colored in shades of pink.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Break of Dawn

...and find banana bread drizzled with caramel. Melted. Sticky. Sweet. Delicious.

Silver glistening fog blanketing the damp brown earth.
But for the gentle wind streaming it's fingers through the leaves of the trees.
A barely audible whisper.
Like the prelude to dawn.
A change in the Darkness.
Still, silent, but no longer foreboding.
There's life in it.
Silent, but true.

Then, a muscle twitches.
The first break of dawn.
Leaves on the trees now visible in the shadows.
The wind gathers in intensity, building up to the crescendo.
And then in a flash of colors strewn across the length of the cloudy sky:
The Crescendo.

All life bursts free!
The wind filling the forest with it's woodwind melody.
The rhythm in hustle and bustle of little creatures.
The birds singing along in harmony.
And as each part comes together in this brilliantly orchestrated symphony,
the sun breaks through the clouds in the horizon.
He smiles.

For you who likes a good hunt,

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Colors of Powwow

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Long time eh?

After the one year plus gap in posting, thought I was done eh? And that I wasn't coming back? That I'd finally finished saying everything I had to say? Hmmm...nope, not at all. However the life of my blog is in jeapordy due to an abundance of laziness. Anyway, because of that (laziness), I'm gonna summarize life quickly (and not do it any justice at all) and then add millions of words in pictures.

I'm reading Paradise Lost now and it's like opening presents. Over and over again.

My life is more focused around facebook now than blogger...I guess that means I'm more into other people's lives than into commenting on my life, etc.

I really like tea. Black, white, green and currently my favorite is a red rooibus spice tea.

My favorite word right now: fleet. It reminds me of fleets of spaceships. I like spaceships a lot. Supreme Commanders of Fleets are pretty cool too.

I'm really enjoying the weather in SFO and it's supposed to be up in the 80's this wkend which means I'm gonna be outside hiking and stuff.

I need to do my taxes. DARN.

Australia beckons in December and I'm looking to my month there. My new goal is a new country every year. At least. Next year: Scotland (hopefully).

Trailing scarves, scented candles, garage sales, stargazer lilies, brownies, hand written letters, hot earl gray bubble tea, photography.

I changed my mind about the pictures. They are after all, on facebook. So if facebook's approved our friendship, you can check them out there. Otherwise, do complain to me. Yeah, forget those millions of words. People don't really listen anyway...right? (further emphasizes the reason to complain to me)


scarf knitting, Stargate watching,

Thursday, January 18, 2007

For lack of a title, this is called 'Under A Tree'

Under a tree –
A tree that’s been cut down…
I should have known.

The water pours down gently
Like a waterfall trickling down
It’s weird how cleansing it feels
Water washes away, washes clean.

Ever feel like moving away
Starting fresh somewhere new?
Somewhere far away perhaps

The salty water gushes like from a spring.

Black smears –
Visible gentle lines
But they are so ugly – wipe them away.

Be strong –
Step forward bravely
And then crumble at the next step
Overpowering weakness.

Why? Who is it really?
Why bother? Is it real?
Curled up. Just curled up.
Where is the energy pulled from?
It cannot be from within

But each person’s faith is unique
How can we judge and determine what is right and wrong.
That is, but to us.
The constant splitting and dividing.
Divisions. Dominations. Segregation.


How does He do it?
Always so strong,
Always so faithful,
Always the same.

The whisper is gentle and comforting
It’s silent but comforting; beckoning.
Yet there is so much activity –
So much going on.
Paint me a picture.

Thousands of faces
But all strangers
Staring...staring back hardly.
Fixedly. Unmoving. Unwavering.
Just a hug – please – just a hug.
Just to be held in safe arms
and loved – really loved.

Maybe it’s there –
As bright as the sun
But the shadow –
That’s what’s in front of me.

Misunderstood, misunderstand.
But it’s not the first time
And the world still goes around

Do we see the same picture?
Or just what we paint?
Are you in my picture?
Or am i in yours?
Or maybe not at all.

So many smiling faces
Just staring back at me.
Just staring.

The water is hot
Like the tropics.
And i’m still me.
But i’ll change –
Someday, somehow...
For the better.
Maybe in that new place.

“You are beautiful
And He has great plans for you.”
Like the ship...
Just like the ship:
“Here am I, send me.”

Tape ke mana?
Dan untuk apa?
Bagaimana? Mengapa?
Saya kurang fasih
Saya tak faham

And it resonates:
“Here am I, send me.”

Such strength.
The water pours on down.

Wash away; wash away clean
Fresh. New.
Fresh start. New place.
i am ok now.

Strong –
So strong!
But for who?
More importantly why?

The sunlight bounces off the mirror.
Of course.
That’s what it has been all along.
But with many false presumptions and assumptions.

Same old, same old.
But the water feels good.
Destructive sometimes, but good.
It hacks away –
Showing the hidden.

But what comes next?
Who’s ready?
It’s painful, it’s hard.
“So run away!”

But where to and what to?
Just the same as before.
Never settled, never laid to rest.
Always lifeless, yet awake.
Just following and staring.

Hearts are too fragile –
So easily broken and so hard to mend
Then don’t touch them
But the need pulls. Mine, theirs.

A lone island with water all around.
Water, crashing, washing, hacking
Just the island –
Left all alone.
It’s better that way, perhaps...

Another candle is lit –
And then blown out.
In the shadow.
Pretending to be?

So who was the candle for?
It’s gone now.
Gone – like the water took it.

And exclamation mark, a star.
A smile.
At last!
But for how long?
It’s like shopping for a band aid.
Like raindrops on roses.

But what of yesterday?
A crash!
Then smiles, hugs, warmth
Love – just friends
So many friends; and new friends.

Faces staring and smiling.
The eyes…like the eyes.
But that was Italy.
My love.

So what font should i use?
i guess it depends on what paint.
Clearly, it doesn’t matter.

The brown, gloomy, still water
Trapped. Then green.
So many uses for it though.
Hard water…soft water...
Believe it!

Letter after letter,
Word after word,
Page after page,
Where does it end?
Right at the beginning.
Right where it started.

A deep breath
Some water
Some black smudges
A lot of water
Faces, Oh! So many faces
Warm – like Malaysia
Tapi bukan mukanya.
The water warms.
A band aid.
A smile.
Through the door.

But if it ends where it beings,
Then where is the change?

Inside. In between.

The beginning is never the same again.
The journey changes it:
No replication possible.
Good. Conflict, then change.

Somewhere new. Italy perhaps.
Bhutan? South Africa? Peru?
Maybe just Maltese soil.
Different indeed.
Everywhere and nowhere.
Like the mist above the water.

A shiver.
Two minutes.
And the heat;
But not from the water
From love.
Hidden, unexpected love.
One minute.
Is that sort of love real?
Is it possible?
But surely it must be
And not for some other reason.
It’s here and warm.

Only His love is pure.
But love like He does.
Always, forever, without exception.
Everyone, all the time.
But keep trying.
There is space for so much love.
Oh, so much!

Under a tree –
A tree that been cut down
I should have known.
It’s just being pruned.

Written in a moment
when I thought I was in distress

Monday, August 21, 2006

I'm Leaving...

"All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go..."

20 hours.

6 flights, 7 airports.

One destination. 2 visits.

Singapore, Hawaii.

Sad faces, smiles.

Mixed feelings: Anxious, Excited, Hesitant, Concerned, Happy, Sad, the list goes on.

Missing people and food (in all honesty).

I'll be back next year though.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Sighted at Sea

Yes, it's what you think it is.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Phuket it is...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

At a Hotel

When we're not working hard on the ship...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

More Wonders of the Sea

So blowfish is supposed to be edible, right?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The All Natural Sea

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Doulos Roommates

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


It's awesome how they pave the way right in front of the ship.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

2nd Anniversary I was just looking back at my documentation of time and I realized that yesterday was phases in shades of pink's second birthday. What a baby! Anyway, just thought that that's sweet and I should drop a blog to acknowledge and celebrate the occasion.

Countdown: 4 days till I leave. Oh, and I'm so excited cuz I'm gonna be visiting a friend in Singapore before I traverse on to Hawaii and then back 'home'.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Words of Wisdom

"Embrace each day...and then let go."

That's to fulfill my quota of words of wisdom for the day. Tell me your thoughts on my thoughts.

my Father's grace

i run from my Father.
i hear Him calling my name;
But choosing not to hear, i step off the path - just a little bit.
i know what i should be doing but i do otherwise.
1825 days or so in the wrong direction adds up.
Now it looks like a long way back - and it seems like it's all uphill...and i am but walking.
Slowly...oh, so slowly!
He knew just how to get my attention.
Pulling me away from all that was familiar at possibly the lowest time in my life.
He is faithful. Again and again. Over and over.
He pulled me close through a passion of mine and then totally broke me apart - gently even though it was painful.
For both of us.
But demonstrating true love - love in it's pure and original sense; as it was meant to be.
i am being gradually put together again but it's almost as painful as being broken apart.
But i'm not alone.
my Father is by my side and He reaches out His hand everytime i slip and fall.
It happens so often.
i'm so sinful and so far away from being perfect; so spotted.
But forgiven. By my Father's grace.