The Lightbulb

HOW MANY STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB AT . . .

Vanderbilt: Two--one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.
Princeton: Two--one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
Brown: Eleven--one to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience.
Dartmouth: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity.
Cornell: Two--One to change the light bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
Brandeis: The whole school. It would be the most exciting event to happen in years.
Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
Columbia: Seventy-six--one to change the light bulb, fifty to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.
Yale: None--New Haven looks better in the dark.
Harvard: One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
MIT: Five--one to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked light bulb two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.
Vassar: Eleven--one to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.
Middlebury: Five--One to change the light bulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
Stanford: One, dude.
Oberlin: Three--one to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Georgetown: Four--one to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.
Duke: A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.
Williams: The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.
Tufts: Two--one to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.
Sarah Lawrence: Five--one to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
Swarthmore: Eight--it's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.
Bryn Mawr: One--because it would be a violation of the Honor Code if any more did.
Boston University: Four--one to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.
Wesleyan:Wesleyan's boycotting GE... you know, military-industrial complex and all that.
Connecticut College: Two--one to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the light bulb wouldn't go out .
Virginia: Thirteen--Ten to form student committee to vote on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr. Jefferson.
Bowdoin: Three--one to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.
Boston College: Seven--one to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.
Santa Clara University: One--but you would never know about it because only Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their light bulbs.


Hilarious huh?